Let’s talk about something I know we all deal with: how to respond to other people’s unconsciousness — without getting pulled under.
This subject comes up constantly. My blog posts and videos on this always get the most attention, and I get it. When you're waking up — like really, actually awakening — it becomes impossible not to notice how asleep the world is.
But here’s the thing most people don’t want to hear: if you’re still being heavily triggered by unconscious people, there’s still something in you that’s unresolved. Because once you’re deep in your healing journey, other people’s unconsciousness doesn’t drain you — it softens you. It humbles you. It activates compassion because you remember that you used to be just as asleep.
That doesn’t mean you become a doormat. Or that you let dysfunction run wild in your life. But it does mean you stop blaming and start looking inward.
We get triggered because we’re still holding expectations.
Let that land for a moment.
When someone behaves in a way that pushes your buttons, ask yourself this:
Why does this trigger me?
What am I expecting them to be, and why?
Most of the time, we’re not angry at their behaviour — we’re angry that they’re not matching the fantasy we built about how they should behave.
And that fantasy? That’s on us.
Judgement is often just ego wrapped in righteousness. “I would never do that.” “How could they act like that?”
But that kind of judgement is rooted in inequality — in believing we’re somehow better, more evolved, more conscious. We forget that not long ago, we were making similar choices. We forget our own unconscious past.
Now let me be clear:
I am not talking about tolerating abuse or staying in toxic dynamics.
Grace doesn’t mean self-sacrifice. Unconditional love doesn’t mean putting up with bullshit.
If someone’s toxic, abusive, or deeply dysfunctional — you can still accept them as they are while removing yourself from their firing line. You’re not there to fix, change, or rescue them. You’re there to protect your peace.
Acceptance means letting people be who they are, and choosing what kind of access they have to you.
That’s the work.
Whether it's your partner, your child, your coworker, a stranger on the street — if their behaviour triggers you, and you're demanding that they behave differently so you can feel okay, you're still outsourcing your emotional well-being. You're still trying to control reality.
And here's the thing: nobody’s behaviour is really about you — just like your behaviour is always about you.
We think we’re being attacked when most of the time, someone’s just operating from their own unresolved trauma. Most people are just trying to survive the day. That’s not an excuse for harmful behaviour, but it is a reason to stop taking everything personally.
So here’s what I invite you to consider:
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What expectations are you placing on others that set you up for frustration?
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Where are you still judging instead of accepting?
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Can you remove yourself from what’s harmful without needing the other person to change?
Conscious response starts with you.
Healing starts with you.
Peace starts with you.
If you want to understand your triggers more deeply, or learn how to shift from reaction into awareness, I’ve got some free resources that can help. Just reach out.
You can dive deeper in this episode of The Sovereign Soul Podcast here.
With love,
Rose
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